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I have a fruit tree in my backyard that makes fruit to order. I go out to the tree. The tree says, “Yes, Fred?” I request a particular piece of…

My brain p0pped out of my head through my ear and landed on the floor. I said, “What are you doing down there?” My brain said, “I need some fresh…

I took a trip up to the North Pole today. I’d never been there before. I like to go to where I’ve never been. When I get to the new…

Earlier today I saw out the back window a rhinoceros eating my cherry tree. I  went outside and said, “I’m sorry to interrupt you.” The rhinoceros stopped eating and said,…

I got in my time-travel machine and went back to the day I was born. My mom was in labor in the hospital. She said, “Who are you?” I said,…

On my second birthday I said my first word which was, “Fred!” My parents got excited. Then I proceeded to say, “Fred” 265 times in a row. My mother kept…

I got in my rocket ship and flew to the rings of Saturn. I parked just outside the rings, put on my spacesuit and ice skates, got out, and began…

Today I got out of bed and fell for a long, long, long while. While I was falling, I wondered what happened to the floor? It was there last night…

I was visited by the ghost of Abraham Lincoln. He showed up suddenly and said, “Hey, Fred!” I said, “Hi, Abe!” He’s been visiting me every Friday afternoon for the…

When I awake in the morning, I get out of bed and go to the window. I look outside and say, “Hello, it’s me Fred!” Either a tree, a rabbit,…