Fun with falling

Today I got out of bed and fell for a long, long, long while. While I was falling, I wondered what happened to the floor? It was there last night when I went to bed. And how was my bed not falling? It seems that my bed should have been falling along with me.

I counted the seconds as I fell. I figured that 15 seconds of falling equaled a half mile. I’d counted to 350 seconds. That was over two miles. I continued counting.

I looked down and didn’t see I was approaching any kind of ground. After 20,000 seconds I stopped counting. I closed my eyes and enjoyed the feeling of the air. It was relaxing and I fell asleep.

I had a dream where I was a turtle. I was sunning myself on a beach. The sun felt good on my shell. I started to hum. A seagull landed next to me. The seagull said, “That’s some amazing humming. I said, “Thanks. The seagull said, “What’s the name of that song you’re humming?” I said it was called Life is the Best Chewing Gum. The seagull said, “What are the words to the song?” I said, “It’s an instrumental.”

I woke back up. I was still falling.

Suddenly I landed on a cloud. The cloud said, “Hey, what the hell!?!” I said, “I’m sorry. Did I hurt you?” The cloud said, “No, but you startled me.” I apologized again. The cloud said, “That’s okay. My name is Percibal.” I said, “I’m Fred. It’s really nice up here.” The cloud said, “Tell me about it!”