I can breathe underwater

I can breathe underwater. I’m not a fish. I don’t have gills. I can swallow water and absorb the oxygen without drowning. I went to a doctor once and asked her how this was possible. She said she didn’t know.

Sometimes I swim underwater. Sometimes I walk. Swimming is easier. But sometimes I get tired of flapping my arms and legs and prefer the walk. I can’t walk fast underwater. There’s some resistance. But still it’s nice.

The longest I’ve stayed underwater was 18 weeks. I didn’t plan to stay there that long. I lost track of time because it was dark down there. I’m taking way down there. Spending time under a lake, you can only go so far down. You end up seeing the sun reflecting through the surface of the water, and you know how long it’s been. But I prefer spending time in the depths of the ocean. I bring an underwater flashlight with me because it’s pitch black at all times. Without the flashlight, I’d end up standing on some fish, or eel, or shark, and have to apologize.

While I’m down there, I do a lot of thinking. I think best under water. Originally I recognized this quality when I was taking a bath and my mind was filled with a bunch of ideas. I wondered if I would think of more ideas if my head was submerged. So I went under and had so many thoughts that five hours went by before I realized I hadn’t surfaced.

I tried this a few other times, but found he tub is restricting, so I drove to the beach, got out and walked underwater till I’d gone a few miles. Like I said, time passes when you’re on the bottom of the ocean and I came back to discover my car had been towed since I’d been away for a couple of months.

After a bunch of times traveling back and forth from home to ocean, and almost clearing out my bank account with towing fees, I sold my house and live primarily underwater.

I sleep under a forest of coral when I get tired. I eat minnows and strands of kelp when I’m hungry. I read underwater from plastic books. And I write on my computer which is safely encased in a transparent plastic bag.

Why do I come up out of the water? It’s a nice occasional contrast. Plus it allows me to get batteries for my flashlight and computer.