I was out for a walk when I came upon a castle. It’s funny how you don’t notice something, and then one day you do.
I went up to the castle and knocked. The knock echoed through the house. I heard footsteps approaching. The door opened slowly with a creak.
A butler answered the door. He was startled and said, “Monsieur Fred!”
I said, “Yes?”
The butler said, “We’ve been very worried about you. It’s wonderful to have you back home.”
I didn’t say anything. When stuff is really mysterious and confusing, I like to stay silent. I figure I need my wits about me.
I said, “Thanks, Mr. Butler.”
The butler laughed and said, “Oh, Fred. I’ve missed your humor.”
I went in. The room was as high as a redwood tree and was the length of a football field. I whistled. The whistle echoed back and forth a full minute.
Three maids and another butler came from other rooms. They smiled and expressed their joys at seeing me. The chef came into the room and said, “Freddie! It’s been so long! I’m going to cook you a fantastic feast!” and left for what I imagined was the kitchen.
The butler took my crown and said, “I’m going to give this a good polish!” He left and went to a different room.
The rest of the butlers and maids looked at me with enthusiasm. I shrugged my shoulders and said, “It’s good to be back?” They nodded and went off to other rooms.
I wandered around. I found a room with a 1000 foot swimming pool. Another was stacked two hundred feet high with Bubble Yum and Bazooka Joe gum. I discovered a room with a massive aquarium occupied with two whales who said, “Hi, Fred!” And still another room which was a massive closet that contained hundreds of red shirts with a plus-sign on the chest.
I found the bedroom. It was much smaller then the other rooms. It had a regular sized bed. There was an old TV on a stand. There was no remote control. I turned it on by hand. It took a while for it to warm up. The picture was in black and white. It was a show about two dogs and a cat. I sat on bed and watched the show.